


Letting it Out

by MaggieLaFey



Series: Revelations [3]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Post-Season/Series 10, Romance, Schmoop, finally getting the words out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:20:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23412241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaggieLaFey/pseuds/MaggieLaFey
Summary: After the events of A Trip to the Store and Turning the Tables, Buffy is FINALLY ready for the Three Magic Words... or at least, she wants to be.(If you haven't read my other two stories, just know that Buffy and Spike have been together for a while and have had intense (but fun!) experiences of the bedroom kind.)
Relationships: Spike/Buffy Summers
Series: Revelations [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1671379
Comments: 6
Kudos: 37





	Letting it Out

**Author's Note:**

> As promised, here's the little piece about the love declaration. About time, yeah? 
> 
> I actually loved how the comics dealt with this, but I do think that opening up like Buffy and Spike do in these stories would make it easier and faster for her to get in touch with her emotions. I'm not saying that kinky sex = love epiphanies as a general rule, but I do think that when you let yourself trust in and open up to someone like Buffy does in these particular stories, it can be easier then to realise certain things, and thus to be more open to certain feelings. Feel free to disagree with me in the comments though, if you think differently! I love talking about these characters and this stuff. 
> 
> Also, no sexy stuff in this one, but expect lots of fluff and schmoop, which seems unavoidable for me.
> 
> Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

It had been a long few days since her inner-sub revelation.

Buffy and Spike had fallen asleep in each other’s arms right after making love in such a tender way that she’d rarely felt so warm inside. And then they’d had a stupidly sappy morning after as well, whispering sweet nothings in each other’s ears before making love again.

(Well, she’d also run to the toilet sometime during the night, but that was beside the point.)

In short, that had probably been the perfect, ideal time to come out and tell Spike that she loved him. Her heart had kept tugging and tugging, telling her to _just say it already_ , but then her stupid brain had insisted and insisted on waiting, and what if she wasn’t sure about it after all, and what if it wasn’t the right moment _for her_ , and why would she force herself to say it when they should be the most natural words in the world… yadda yadda yadda.

In short, Buffy had been kinda fuming at her own brain, those last few days.

On the one hand, she did want to wait for the moment when she was a hundred percent happy about saying the words. And she was sure Spike wasn’t suffering while waiting for the words; how many times had he sent her a knowing look whenever she looked at him a bit more intensely, in fact whenever she felt her heart in her throat because the words seemed close to slipping from her mouth? She was sure he knew and, as much as she knew that he’d love to hear the words, she also knew that he loved her enough to give her as much time as she needed.

On the other hand, well, this was getting ridiculous. So yeah, she had abandonment issues. So yeah, the last time she’d openly told somebody she loved him, at least in a romantic way, the guy had turned into a monster, tried to destroy the world, been sent to hell by her own slayery self, and ultimately dumped her with a dramatic look and a walk into the fog… not to mention the whole 'let's create a universe together and then try to destroy our own before I kill your father figure' spiel… yes, all right, that was all true. But she’d been moving on, for God’s sake! What was all this waiting around for? Was she waiting for the perfect moment, or was she just mollycoddling her insecurities?

This clearly had to end. So, a couple of days after that self-discovery that had brought her to spend quite a while on her knees in front of Spike, Buffy had decided she’d just tell him. She thought the words often enough; she _felt_ so much for him already; that had to be it. This waiting around had officially become unacceptable.

And so she had set to waiting for the perfect moment. Except that apparently the universe still held a hell of a grudge against her, because the perfect moment just didn’t come. They kept getting separated, or kept spending too much time with the Scoobies, or being too tired when they were finally alone, or it just wasn’t romantic enough, or it wasn’t spontaneous enough, or…

_Oh, God. I’m self-sabotaging, aren’t I?_

That had been her conclusion, because yeah, she had to be. So she’d decided that, the next time they’d be making love, she’d just tell him. She’d tell him, and he’d be happy and probably tackle her into some more lovemaking, which, let’s be honest, would make her fairly happy too. It would be romantic and sweet and perfect, and that was it.

She was just thinking this when she came back home from an early patrol, sweaty and ready for a shower — and then she stopped short at her doorstep, blinking at the sight in front of her.

“Hey, little girl, I wanna be your boyfriend… sweet little girl, I wanna be your boyfriend…” 

Spike was cooking. In her kitchen. And he was singing softly. And dancing a bit on the spot, all while stirring something in one of her pans, his back to her.

“Do you love me, babe? What can I say? Do you —” The sound of her door closing behind her clearly broke through his song-induced reverie, because he turned and smiled at her, surprised. “Oh, pet, you already back? Wanted to cook you something as a surprise,” he said, his tone happy and relaxed, as he nodded casually at the pan whose content he was still stirring. “Noticed you haven’t been eating anything healthy these last few days and thought you might do with a bit of veggies.” He grinned before turning back to the stove to look at the pan. “Had the Bit help me out a little, yeah, but I’m still counting this as Perfect Boyfriend Points. Harris gotta work hard to beat me, lemme tell ya.”

Buffy was still in front of her door, speechless. He… she…

She didn’t decide to say the words: they just came out, natural as you please.

“Spike, I love you.”

There was a moment of stillness, then he turned back to her, spatula in hand and a surprised look on his face. And she just smiled at him, a little laugh bubbling out of her lips after a couple of seconds. 

So that was what happened when she stopped refusing to let the words out… instead of lodging in her throat and making her feel out of breath, they flowed right out and left her feeling light and happy.

“Pet?”

“Spike, I love you,” she repeated, smiling widely and walking to him. By the time she was in front of him, he was smiling too, delight and happiness lighting up his features, and Buffy thought that this moment was absolutely perfect just the way it was.

“I love you too, you know — oof!”

She’d thrown her arms around him by then, squeezing him tight and enjoying his smell, his strong arms that held her even as he kept the spatula away from her body, the little laugh that left his lips. It was simple and it was dumb, it wasn’t romantic as she’d pictured, but it was perfect.

“I love you, Spike,” she repeated, liking the way those words made her feel lighter and lighter.

“I love you, Buffy,” he murmured in her hair, holding her tight to him. 

“I wanted to wait for the perfect moment to say it, but it was stupid.”

“Yes, it was.” She moved back enough to mock-glare at him but he just laughed again, his free hand going to cup her cheek and lean her face up so he could kiss her lips sweetly. “Just glad you found the stones to say the words, pet,” he murmured with a mischievous eyebrow-waggle, making her scoff lightly.

“Yeah, yeah, Buffy has emotional issues, we’ve all been through that…”

Spike shook his head and just smiled more, kissing her frown away and then her nose and then her lips again.

She kind of melted a bit at his look, and the words bubbled out of her lips again, ‘I love you’, making her blush with the doubt that she was getting too sappy. But going by the sappy look on his own face, he certainly didn’t seem to mind.

“You realise I’m gonna have to make love to you all night now, pet.”

“I think that’s required,” she nodded sensibly.

“And that you’re gonna have to repeat the words to me many, many times before I get even remotely satisfied.”

Buffy laughed again, feeling dumb and not caring.

“I’ll see what I can do — hey!” He’d clutched her to him, growling, and she just grinned wider. “I love you! I love you!”

“Mmh,” he murmured, his arms going softer in their hold, and he started nuzzling her hair. “’S more like it…”

They chuckled lowly together, until Buffy gave a little happy sigh and then grinned, amused.

“Spike?”

“Yeah, pet.”

“Spike, I…” She felt him smile against her neck and her grin widened. “I think you’re burning my healthy dinner.”

He snapped out of it immediately, leaving her pouting a bit at how quickly his arms left her, and he stirred the veggies in the pan quickly, sending her a shy grin. Her heart melted, again, and she pretended not to see that a bit of food had dropped from the spatula to the floor. She could clean later, after a shower… and possibly before their dinner, or she couldn’t promise that it wouldn’t wait until the following morning.

“Well, I think I’m gonna have a shower now.” Spike pouted at her and she held back a stupid, possibly swooning sound. So she loved him, yeah, but she had to draw the line somewhere, damn it. “Eat with me when I’m done?”

“Of course, love.”

She felt herself blush at the endearment, for whatever reason. He definitely noticed, his soft smile shifting closer to a smug grin.

She looked at him for another second, then took him by the shirt and pulled him close for a short but passionate kiss, the feel of it sending tingles all over her body even when she let him go. He panted a little bit too, and she felt like the most powerful woman alive.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he murmured, his eyes intense and tender. She just smiled widely at him and then forced herself to move back and finally go to the toilet after another intense look, because tonight she needed the best kind of eau de Buffy, not the less-than-sexy eau de San Francisco Demonkind.

She took her clothes off in the bathroom and glanced at the mirror by chance, stopping short at the image for a couple of seconds: there was no doubt that love did her good, because she might have never looked so radiant and happy and _good_ in her life.

All in all, Buffy mused as she quickly showered, love was definitely worth slaying the whole self-sabotage thing. And she couldn’t be happier that she’d finally ‘found the stones’ to do it, no matter how much it’d taken her.

**Author's Note:**

> Here we go, and we're probably all done with the characters in this particular universe. I hope you like what I came up with, and that this sweet little piece made you smile as much as it did me. Thanks for reading!! 
> 
> PS: so this is my first fic with no swearing/adult themes... so I'm kinda confused about the rating, I'll admit. If G isn't appropriate, please let me know!!


End file.
